


just don't

by wyverntail



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Divine Pulse Talk™, F/M, Felix and Byleth Chat About the Divine Pulse™, Healing Magic, Minor Injuries, Stitches, Taking Care of Each Other After Battle™
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:14:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29959416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wyverntail/pseuds/wyverntail
Summary: "Did I die?"Byleth sighed hard, and he met her eyes in a serious stare. He was always so curious about dying. Seeing Felix drop so far away from her was always devastating. Each time he went down was another gut punch, another moment the breath was completely taken from her lungs as she tried to assess the situation enough to decide whether or not she could pull back time for him.She always did, even if it meant reliving the entire battle."Yes."
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 8
Kudos: 41





	just don't

**Author's Note:**

> original premise: having a bad day, so imma write some patching each other up. not much speaking. 
> 
> later: felix grills byleth on the divine pulse to get stronger while they’re patching each other up. 
> 
> content warning: they're cleaning up each other's wounds after battle, so blood, some description of getting stitches, and description of canon typical violence

Byleth slowly made her way back to the camp with a bucket of water from the river, ignoring the cuts and burns that marked what felt like every inch of her body. The last battle had been brutal and bloody, several unexpected ambushes popping up in the populated terrain. In the towns, they had buildings with roofs to worry about. Enemies rapelling down walls and assassins using alleyways of spaces they were familiar with to their advantage made for a more challenging opponent. 

Though Byleth managed to save everyone, she couldn't avoid many of the injuries that fell upon her companions or herself. It was a sacrifice that was better than death, but one she obviously wasn't fond of. Still, it meant hours of clean-up after a long day. 

Instead of heading back to her tent, Byleth weaved through the outskirts of the camp, looking for a particular piece of propped-up canvas. As usual, she found the one she was looking for at the furthest edge, away from most others. She could tell that Sylvain was still nearby, his tent dark and empty as she came to expect. The man was probably off celebrating the win of the day instead of settling in for the next day's battle. She wasn't about to scold him because at least it meant they'd have some privacy. 

The more pressing matter at hand was getting cleaned up for the night with a certain dark-haired swordsman she'd been spending more time with as of late. 

Felix and Byleth had gotten into a routine of cleaning up together after battles when they were able. When she wasn't whisked away by Goddess-knew-who to talk about revisions on plans, go over details of supplies or chat with Dimitri. Byleth wasn't exactly sure when the routine had started, but it was a welcome and comforting silence after the chaos of the day. 

Usually, the affair was quiet, methodical, and unusually slow for the pair. Unlike when they were sparring, Felix and Byleth took their time to patch themselves up after a battle. It was essential to ensure they were in top shape for the days to come.

Byleth shoved her elbow in the canvas flap of the tent, peering her way in with a raised brow. Felix lay on his cot, staring at the top of his tent until she caught his eye, and he sat up. They didn't bother with the formalities of hello anymore. 

She placed the bucket of water on the ground in the middle of the tent as Felix grabbed the various pieces of cloth and towels they would need to clean their wounds. Byleth had a needle and thread in her pocket already, though she hoped they wouldn't have to use it. From what she could tell, he didn't seem to be bleeding that badly on his white overcoat. 

They both sat in the middle of the tent on the ground facing each other, Byleth tapping Felix's knee to signal him to get undressed first. He lifted both of his shirts off, revealing more cuts than she thought— several on each arm, a nasty one on his ribs and several gashes on his chest. The one on his stomach looked terrible as it started bleeding through the cloth strips he'd placed beforehand. 

"Why didn't you go see Mercedes?" Byleth chided, scooting herself closer. She grabbed one of the washcloths and dipped it in the water, first gently peeling away the bloodied material that would need to come off. Felix flinched at the touch of her cold fingers against his skin as he usually did. It was a reaction she'd gotten used to after the first couple of times they had patched each other up. 

"It's not that bad," he said, as blood started dripping from the gash again.

All Byleth could do was narrow her green eyes at him, letting out a disappointed sigh. 

"I should call her over." 

"You know how to heal." 

"I'll leave a scar." 

Felix raised a brow, and she rolled her eyes. Yes, he was already covered in scars. So was she. But that didn't make it any better. 

Holding out her hand above the wound, she whispered the words of a healing spell, feeling the white magic vibrate at her fingertips like the static of lightning during a thunderstorm. The healing started, skin knitting back together as most of the gash disappeared before their eyes. There was still a nasty red mark bleeding less severely, but it wasn't as much of a risk anymore. They could handle it. 

"You can't just wait for me, you know," she locked eyes with him for a moment before he turned to look the other way. 

"I wasn't waiting for you." 

Sure, sure. 

Byleth brought the washcloth to his wound, brushing away the old blood and wringing it out once she was done. Taking several long strips of cloth, she began to wrap the fabric around his middle, securing it over the cleaned wound. 

Next, she moved to the cut on his chest. Dragging the washcloth across his skin, Felix began to relax into it, either closing his eyes or staring thoughtfully at the floor. She found herself smiling faintly at the observation as she ran the washcloth down his chest, catching his attention. 

"What?" He asked.

"What are you thinking?" 

Felix frowned at her for a minute before she raised a brow. "As if you don't know." 

"Mm… I could guess," Byleth mused, dipping the washcloth back into the water and wringing it out. 

"Go ahead." 

"Why?" 

"I'm curious." 

"You're trying to figure out how someone got you so good." She tried out, gesturing towards the first cut she cleaned up. The patch was holding nicely, no new blood. She did an excellent job at cleaning up if she said so herself. Felix had yet to develop an infection after her services, so she would consider it a win.

The corners of his mouth twitched up, and he nodded. 

"What happened?" She asked Felix first, bringing the cloth to his shoulder.

Felix sighed, looking up at the peak of the tent as he thought back through the day. It was a long battle. They'd started near midday and didn't end until past sunset. There were many waves of enemies that kept flooding in, and they were surprised a few times. It was much more complicated than Byleth would've liked. 

"I was rounding a corner on one of the streets, and someone came out of nowhere," he started, shaking his head. "I can't explain it." 

Felix paused for a moment, amber eyes flitting down to her own. 

"You know." 

A small smile formed on her lips, though it was sad. Yes, the person came out of nowhere, and the first time it happened, Felix had been completely skewered on a lance. It was something she would erase from her memory if she could.

"Yes." 

"What happened?" 

Ever since she told Felix about her time-warping abilities, he'd not only become more careful, but he'd also started to use it to his advantage if he could. While Byleth didn't mind and kind of admired the make good of the situation, it was still not her favourite thing to think about. Felix falling to the ground clutching his stomach as blood began pooling out of him onto his teal coat, his amber eyes wide with shock as he looked back at Byleth before dropping was _never_ something she wanted to think about. No matter how many daydreams and nightmares it plagued, she would rather anything else.

"You walked right into it the first time. Assassin. They were quiet, so I don't blame you." 

"An assassin with a lance?" 

"They picked it up from their dead friend not too far back. Ashe got him with his bow before you got there." 

Felix processed the information with a small nod. The events would have been different for him, though, because Byleth moved Ashe and sent Felix in another direction. 

"I managed to slow the assassin down, so you ended up running into their friend with the lance instead." 

"Ah." 

"Less damage."

The silence of the tent hung in the air for several minutes as Byleth continued to drag the cloth across his skin, carefully making sure his arms were clean. Crickets turned into white noise, and the distant sounds of fires crackling and people laughing felt so far away when they were focused on their tasks. 

"Did I die?" 

Byleth sighed hard, and he met her eyes with a serious stare. He was always so curious about dying. Seeing Felix drop so far away from her was always devastating. Each time he went down was another gut punch, another moment the breath was completely taken from her lungs as she tried to assess the situation enough to decide whether or not she could pull back time for him. 

She always did, even if it meant reliving the entire battle again.

"Yes." 

Felix took the cloth from her hand now, nodding at her to take off her own clothes. With another small sigh, she obliged, first removing her jacket and tossing it to the side. She clicked off the armour that kept her chest held tight, throwing it on the ground with a thud. Felix was used to seeing her in the binding she wrapped around herself to keep her chest in place all day now. 

The first time, she decided to ignore his blush as he looked away. 

She removed the pieces of metal from her arms as Felix moved closer. Byleth finally noticed how bloody her arms were, also taking note of the scrapes on her legs from trying to get around so fast. Everyone really had her on her toes. It was exhausting if she let herself think about it for too long. 

Felix used his free hand to push her hair behind her ear, brushing the ends behind her shoulder to get access to an incredibly annoying gash on her bicep. The gentle brush of his fingers sent a small shiver up her spine, still not used to his softer touches. 

"Axe?" He asked as he wiped away the dried blood. 

She nodded. "Had to get to you and Ashe." 

Felix narrowed his eyes at her, but she brushed it off. 

"You died," she reminded him. 

"What could I have done differently?" 

What could he have done differently so that she didn't have to pulse? That's what he was asking. 

Ever since she'd told Felix of her strange abilities, he'd been concerned with her needing to use them on him. She tried to assure him that she used them on everybody at one point or another, whether it was a grave injury, or quite honestly, death, but it never seemed to satisfy him. Felix wasn't going to sit with the fact that he failed. On the one hand, she admired the determination to do better, but on the other, it felt like the realities of war. Skirmishes were unpredictable, and now she had some strange power to change the tides. 

It was lucky for all of them, but what of the other side? 

She didn't have time to think about it. 

Byleth rolled her head to the side as she thought, watching him pull the cloth gently down her blood-stained arm. Looking at his patched-up body compared to hers, Byleth had noticed a big difference in how they were taught how to fight early on. 

Felix was trained to be a shield, to look forward and protect himself and those around him face-to-face. He hardly ever turned his back to an enemy if he could help it. The majority of his scars and cuts littered his arms, chest, and abdomen. They had the perception in common, but Byleth, on the other hand, wasn't as stingy about getting dirty. She threw herself in and fought to survive without the rules of duty. And the more Felix stayed around her, the more cuts he was getting on his back. 

"The assassin was too quiet. It was difficult to hear their soft shoes on the stone of the streets we were in. I didn't even see them until I rounded the corner and saw you," Byleth explained, wincing at the memory.

His amber eyes flitted up to hers with a regretful gaze. Felix didn't have to say the words. She knew. It wasn't like he was stupid; these things just happened on the battlefield. And if she didn't have her ridiculous _Goddess_ powers, many of them would've been dead far before they even got to that point. Felix included. 

She didn't even want to think about it. 

"Perhaps you could take a wider turn when you're on the streets," she offered, and Felix nodded. "Staying in the middle gives you a vantage to both sides. You cut the corner close. It might have helped." 

Might have, but who could tell now. 

What mattered was that she got everyone out there alive again, somehow. 

They were silent for minutes as Felix pulled out strips of cloth and wrapped them around her cut-up arm. Byleth could tell that he was still trying to wrap his mind around how this whole thing with her worked. She still wasn't even sure herself after what only felt like over a year of using them. And without Sothis to talk to, she was never going to learn more. 

Perhaps it was better off that way.

"Does it ever get easier?" Felix asked finally as he moved to her other side. 

Easier? 

She raised a brow. 

"We see people die every day. I wouldn't call it easy, but… In a way, we've become numb to it. We cut through those in our way to survive another day. We can't afford to think about it too long," he explained, sitting back on his heels. "And then there are people like the Boar. He snaps. The rage from the death of those he knew fuels his intent to viciously kill others without a thought." Felix looked at her steadily as if she might have some sort of answer he was searching for. "How do you not lose it seeing us die constantly?"

Ah, Dimitri. 

Situations like those of their companion made her wish she could do more. But because of her powers, she also knew that sometimes there was nothing they could do. Fate decided, more often than not, even with her abilities.

Byleth spent little time wondering what could've happened when there were so many pathways at her fingertips. The path that she ended up on was most important, no matter how selfish it seemed if she pondered it for too long. Who was she to choose, really? Why did she get to decide who lived?

For the moment, forging a new path to stop the awful war that was raging on was the top priority.

She needed her trusted companions.

"I have the memories of all the times I was wrong. But I also have the one time I did it right to focus on," Byleth said slowly, watching his gaze drop to the ground between them. "I can't dwell on the fact that you were dead three hours ago because you're here right now." 

The thought of being in Felix's tent alone rather than with him was an image she hardly wanted to pause on. If Byleth hadn't been able to turn back the hands of time like she'd done so many times before, they would've been in a very different situation. One much like the awful day at Gronder. 

She was still having nightmares about Gronder.

A reminder that she _didn't_ get to choose who lived or died. Not always.

"And it never gets easier to watch and rewatch," she added. "Even when I'm on the battlefield, it's hard to stomach."

"I figured." 

"The memories of what happened don't go away. I dream about it all the time. Sometimes if it's awful, I look at you, and I still—" Byleth cut herself off, closing her eyes. She didn't want to think about him bloodied any more than she had to. The words that bubbled up in her chest were far too honest, but they were the truth. "It doesn't get easier, but seeing everyone smiling helps." 

Felix seemed to frown more at that, and if anything and she had to laugh.

"I said smiling, Felix."

"Earn it," he said gruffly as he grabbed her wrist and squeezed it.

Byleth huffed out another small laugh with a nod. She could accept that. Felix wouldn't meet her eyes, but she knew he was still trying to process the information. 

His eyes caught something as he avoided her gaze, pulling her wrist forward as he tried to get a better look at her shoulder.

"How did you get this one?" Felix pointed at a gash on her shoulder blade. Byleth had barely even noticed it with the way her whole body was radiating in a dull hum of pain. 

Thinking back to the battle, it must have been when she intercepted a thief trying to get around Annette. The attacker had a dagger that would've plunged straight into her chest if Byleth hadn't gotten in the way with her body. She went right through him with the Sword of the Creator, but her shoulder… Well, at least Annette was alive. Her injury meant Byleth didn't have to turn back time, which allowed her to save Linhardt later.

"She couldn't have used a damn wind spell?" Felix asked, his dark brows knit together in annoyance. 

"She'd just used one on someone else. There were so many enemies today, Felix."

"Well, I have to stitch it up." Felix sighed, throwing the washcloth into the bin and held out his hand for the suturing materials.

At that point, Felix had stitched her wounds several times, enough for her to trust his skill. Despite his harsh exterior, his touch was always gentle when tending to each other's injuries. Though it didn't make the pinch of the needle any better, he was quick and methodical about it, which made for good results and less time biting her lip to oblivion while it happened.

Byleth shifted to search for the needle and thread in her pocket. Stitches were the worst part of it, but it was worth conserving magic energy. Her shoulder would be healed in no time.

A necessary sacrifice.

"Come here," he muttered, nodding toward himself. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Byleth shifted her position to bring her shoulder closer to Felix, swinging her legs over one of his own. His fingertips brushed her neck as he began to expertly gather her thick locks. She ignored the way his fingers got tangled, tugging on strands of hair that were surely stuck together with mud and blood. It was only an indication that she would have to bathe later if time allowed. 

Felix started to bunch her hair on top of her head in a bun, making sure it wasn't touching the wound. Holding it up with one hand, he removed the tie from his own hair and replaced it in hers. It was a small gesture, one he probably wasn't even thinking about, but it made her cheeks heat up. The thick strands of short mint hair near the front of her face were already falling out, but it would do the job for the time being. 

It wasn't often she saw Felix with his hair down, but the urge to catch a glimpse for only a moment was strong.

"Your hair is a mess," he complained half-heartedly. 

"I thought you were the expert?"

"Shut up."

Felix grabbed the washcloth again and cleaned the wound one more time before adjusting himself to get started. 

"It's deep," he warned her, and she nodded.

"Go on."

The second the needle made contact with her skin, she bit her lip and clenched her fists from the new focused pain radiating from her shoulder. Felix was quick to complete the first stitch, though he grabbed her forearm and paused. 

"You need to relax your shoulder." He moved the hand of her good arm to his thigh, right above his knee— a suggestion to hold on since he didn't have a hand to offer. She knew it was the best course, but she really didn't want to hurt him. 

With a firm nod from Byleth, Felix started working again, as quickly as he was able to. Her nails dug into his thigh as she grit her teeth, trying her best to keep her shoulder relaxed for him to work on. But Goddess, it hurt like a bitch. 

Anything else. Byleth tried to think of absolutely anything other than the searing pain in her shoulder.

Her mind wandered to the vague memory of a large lake, choppy waters the same rich blues as their former class tapestry. The sun reflecting off the waves as the wind blew through her hair, the scent of the trees not too far away making her feel at ease. She thought of the fishing rod she was holding, bending down to grab some bait from the bucket. Hooking it on the fishing hook and—

"Ow," she clenched her jaw, sucking in a sharp breath through her teeth as the memory became far too real. 

She was the bait, and Felix was hooking her. 

"One more." 

Byleth nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "I should've brought something to drink." 

Felix huffed. He pulled the final thread through, quickly creating several knots to ensure the stitches wouldn't fall out. She could feel him leaning in to break the thread away from the needle with his teeth and breathed a slow sigh of relief that it was over. 

"Pass me the bandages," Felix said, shifting his leg to get her attention. She was still gripping onto him too tight, immediately retracting her hand with a quiet mumble of an apology. "Your nails are fucking sharp." 

Reaching forward, she ignored the light dusting of pink that she knew heated her cheeks as she grabbed the roll of cloth. Felix took the fabric from her and began tearing strips, carefully draping it over her shoulder before he started wrapping it around her waist. As Felix leaned forward to reach around her, his breath tickled her exposed neck, sending a shiver up her spine, his fingers barely grazing her bare skin on her sides. 

"There," Felix tightened the bandage on her shoulder carefully, trailing his fingers along the edges of the cloth to make sure it was secure. 

"Your hands are so soft," she remarked, and Felix stopped. Though she wasn't able to see his face, it was easy to tell that she had tripped him up. So, she continued. "My hands are rough from using a sword all day, and I thought yours would be the same." 

"They're the most important thing we have, don't you take care of them?" 

"Of course," Byleth looked shifted her position to get a better look at him. The faint tinge of pink on his cheeks was evident to her even in the light from the lamp. 

Taking one of his hands, Byleth lightly grazed her fingers over his palm. She compared his smooth callouses to her cracked skin, intrigued by the difference. Sure, they weren't like Mercedes feather-light digits that were silky to the touch, but they were in excellent condition for someone who used their hands so vigorously. They showed that he used them but took care of them just as much.

Byleth was always careful to patch her hands up after a battle, and she was extremely vigilant in everyday life to ensure they weren't too beat up so she could continue to fight properly. But there was always a dull pain, especially in winter, and the numbness from the callouses she'd built up over the years didn't help her awareness. "I know you wear gloves in battle, but how do you keep them so soft when you still train with bare hands sometimes?" 

Felix's amber gaze met her eyes for a fleeting second before he was pushing himself back and standing up. Her eyes followed him as he crossed the tent, watching Felix push the curtain of dark hair that fell behind his ear as he reached down to grab a small bag. He rummaged around until he pulled out a metal tin and brought it back to her. 

Sitting back down on the ground in front of Byleth, Felix urged her to come closer. He opened the tin and the muted scent of beeswax and something earthy. In the container was a balm of some sort, clearly well-loved and used by Felix. 

He held out his hand without meeting her eyes, waiting for her to give him her hand. Byleth obliged, placing her hand palm up into his. Placing the tin beside him, he took some of the balm, placing it in the centre of her palm. It was cold, but the scent was pleasant, and it quickly began melting into her skin as he started rubbing the balm in with his thumbs. 

"You need to take care of them better," Felix scolded as he kneaded the large pad of her thumb. Byleth found herself leaning into his touch, impressed with how good it felt. She'd expected him to throw a couple dollops on and send her on her way, not do it himself. Byleth would take the kind gesture and more time to spend together, even if it meant he was scolding her about it.

"I do," she furrowed her brows as she watched him move to her fingers, paying careful attention to each knuckle. The lack of sensitivity in her fingertips didn't matter because his careful attention relieved some of the muscle aches from rigorous use. 

Felix's eyes finally raised to meet hers with a glare as he moved to the back of her hand. "Not nearly enough." 

Whatever pain she'd been feeling from the stitches faded away as he rubbed languid circles into the tense muscles, careful not to be too rough. She felt herself leaning into it, biting her lip to suppress a whine as he dropped it for the other. Taking more of the balm from the tin, he placed it in her palm again and repeated the process.

"Thank you," Felix spoke up after several minutes of silence. 

"Why?" 

"For answering my question earlier," he explained, focusing on her hand. "If I had to see you die again, I—" he stopped himself, letting out a long sigh. "Just don't." 

Byleth smiled. "You too." 

Felix met her eyes with a quick look of thanks as a dusting of pink appeared on his cheeks. Despite his serious demeanour, seeing him blush might have been almost as good as seeing him smile.

"Where can I get some of this?" She asked, sparing him to change the subject.

"Come back tomorrow."

"Why is, is it a secret?" 

He shrugged, his eyes flitting down to her lips. Felix moved closer, taking the tin to swipe another small dollop of the contents. He gently lifted her chin, lightly stroking the balm across her lower lip.

"It's good for winter," he muttered when he was done. As she rubbed her beat-up lips together, its soothing effects settling in on her irritated skin. She hadn't noticed that she bit her lip so hard while he was stitching her up, but it certainly felt better with some hydration.

And Felix was so close, now, his finger still under her chin. Amber eyes searching hers as she admired the gold flecks illuminated by the firelight. 

Lifting her hand to cup his cheek, Byleth pulled his face in until their lips met. His hand slipped down her neck, sending a pleasant shock of electricity through her spine. Felix always met her with the same intensity, slow compared to their usual fever. This time, their actions were silently speaking unspoken gratitude for surviving the day. 

And while she wanted to stay longer, they always had shit to do. 

Reluctantly pulling away from the kiss, Byleth pressed her forehead to his, gently stroking his cheek with her thumb. 

"Thank you," she whispered, searching his eyes in hopes that he knew what she meant without getting too sentimental. For taking care of her wounds. For taking care of her hands. For looking out for her.

"Sure, whatever," he muttered as that pink tint appeared on his cheeks once again. 

Eventually, they pried themselves away from the floor and cleaned up the mess they made with medical materials. Felix helped put her shirt back on, ensuring Byleth wasn't going to pop the stitches he painstakingly put in. At least for the night. 

"Don't be so reckless tomorrow," he scolded as she lifted the bucket, preparing to take her leave. 

"Watch the corners, and you might get your wish," she challenged with a smirk. "Don't die."

Felix rolled his amber eyes before tugging at the haphazard bun he put in her hair, taking back his hair tie.

"I won't." he promised before briskly pressing a kiss on her temple. He turned for his cot before she had a chance to say or do anything about it. Instead, she found herself smiling softly at the gesture. 

As much as she knew it might not pan out, Byleth still hoped it to be true.

Byleth would be back at his tent the next night with a fresh bucket of water and supplies. They would patch each other up, mostly in silence, with the sounds of their companions celebrating in the distance. A simple routine that made the difficulties of the day so much more bearable. And one she was happy to share with her curious swordsman.

**Author's Note:**

> hope y'all enjoyed this nanowrimo remnant lmao it's not incredible by any means but i needed to yeet it into space so i can stop thinking about it almost being done lol
> 
> shout out to January Rain by PVRIS for carrying me through the end of this damn drabble
> 
> also oh my god my second fic without a lyric for a title it's a mIRACLE


End file.
